We often associate children and youthfulness with the word carefree. We call them our little rays of sunshine because they brighten up our lives with their funny antics and infectious laughter. Yet children have vulnerable emotions, and while they have comparatively less things to worry about than an adult, they can suffer from intense negative emotions that manifest into depression. Moreover, compared to the adults, they are far less inapt at managing their feelings. In Singapore, suicides are rarely reported by the mainstream media for fear that it may invite copycat suicides. That doesn't mean they don't exist. Samaritans of Singapore usually has fairly up to date statistics on suicides. In 2015, 27 children aged 10 to 19 committed suicide. This was found to be a record number.
In fact, this is not a unique situation to Singapore. In high pressure societies like Japan, China and Korea, it is not rare to come across reports of children at youths at a school-going age committing suicide. In Singapore, high-profile suicides that had to be covered in the media often had to do with stress and feelings of inadequacy related to academic performance. Elsewhere in other countries, bullying and difficulty to fit in (i.e. due to racial discrimination, sexuality etc) are common causes of suicide.
As adults, it is important to help identify symptoms of depression in children and get professional help for them. Children exhibit similar signs of depression to adults, though they may be less capable of articulating or expressing their feelings. Some of these common symptoms include:
-Frequent displays of anger and irritability
- Problematic behaviour at home and towards peers, often mistaken to be acts of rebelliousness or
-Difficulty concentrating, which may lead to poor academic performance.
- Social withdrawal, wanting to be alone. Frequently hiding in room is one sign of it, if there is no valid reason for it i.e. chatting with a friend or studying.
- Fatigue and lethargy.
- Disinterest in hobbies
- Lack of appetite.
- Not wanting to go to school (common sign of bullying or failure to fit in)
- Complaints of physical problems such as headaches and stomachache
- Frequent signs of physical injuries e.g. bruises, scratches etc (possible signs of abuse)
Common causes of depression include:- Family history of violence and alcohol abuse
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Body image issues.
- Poverty
- Lack of healthy social life
- Bullying
- Lack of family support / poor family bonds
- Poor self-esteem
In Singapore, many children are lucky to come from healthy homes. Abuse is rare, and bullying, though unheard of, is rarely as extreme as it can be in other countries, thanks to the education system's emphasis on racial harmony and equality. Lack of self-esteem - often manifesting in the forms of body image problems and obsession in good grades, seems to be a more common trigger for depression and suicide among children in Singapore. These are factors that are highly preventable, but it boils down to the parents to impart the right values.
Many Asian parents believe in tough love and pushing their children to do what they as parents believe to be the best for their children. Indeed, success stories throughout history have proven that tough love has its basis and isn't a mark of bad parenting. However, it is important to note that no child is the same and the effects of tough love may vary from one child to another.
Moreover, children need to be made aware that their self-worth does not simply lie in what they can accomplish at school or how thin or beautiful they look. Establishing a good bond and communication with your children is a key to producing confident children who are aware of their self-worth, and who will not yield to external mainstream pressures, who knows what they want for themselves. And this, more than anything else, lays the foundation to becoming a successful adult.
