Hi everyone! Hope you had a great long weekend! Time passes so fast. Last month, I listened to friends lamenting about new year preparations, from discussing ways of avoiding relatives’ nosy questions to lists of dishes to prepare for the reunion dinner. And now it’s almost all over. I guess it’s good news for some people, while bad for those who did enjoy their holiday.
However, another exciting event that we can look forward to is the announcement of the Annual Budget 2011! And from various speculations in the papers, we might be anticipating some good news.
As usual, healthcare would be a major talking point, given our aging population and the impending inflation. Recently, the the issue on caring facilities for the aged and sick was brought up. Government announced that they were looking into making day rehabilitation programmes more accessible and affordable to reduce the burden on caregivers of the aged.
This is great news as support for caregivers is really lacking in Singapore, despite the immense mental and physical stress they come under from their duty. Although these are targeted at those with elderly parents to care for, perhaps owing to increasing rates of cancer patients every year, more government support may be available for cancer caregivers.
The caregiver has a lot to live up to. First there is the problem of having to cope with tragic news of health problems or even imminent death, whereby it is impossible to not be grieved by it. Then there is the arduous process of caring for the patient, which includes helping the patient to move around if his mobility is restricted, paying for medical bills, helping him with his rehabilitation exercises, ensuring that he observes his diet plans, putting up with his tantrums etc. After all, he is virtually the pillar of strength for the patient, a motivation for the patient to live on.
As a caregiver, you must keep yourself in tip-top condition at all times, as best as possible! Remaining in good health is extremely vital. You cannot care for someone else if you are in poor health.
Make some time to exercise daily. Exercise is a healthy way to relieve stress too.
Go to bed early and wake up early. Get ample sleep, at least 8 hours a day.
Have a balanced diet and drink lots of fluids. Your charge is usually subject to a healthy diet too so have the same or similar diet with him if possible, and encourage other family members to do the same. This ensures that he will not feel left out and also reduces time needed to cook for multiple people.
Don’t exhaust yourself. If you have a job that is taxing, get a less demanding job. Remember that life does not revolve around wealth and career prospects. Besides, if you turn in a poor performance, it will affect your job anyhow. If income is a problem, the National Cancer Centre Singapore has a comprehensive support programme that can provide counseling and assistance to cancer caregivers on various issues including means to you lighten your financial burden.
Don’t feel the need to watch your charge’s every move. He is not a baby, and it’s absolutely all right for you to step out of the house for awhile to get some fresh air. If you want to go out for a longer period of time and do not feel safe leaving him alone, have a neighbour, relative, friend or engage a professional caregiver temporary to stand in for you.
Keep yourself in good spirits! Your mood really affects the way your body functions. If you’re happy, you’re likely to enjoy what you do and perform it well. As a caregiver, the last thing you want to do is inflict more grief on your charge.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Care giving is indeed a tough job and cannot be done to perfection. If you made mistakes, learn from them and move on. When your charge loses his temper at you, don’t take it to heart. Bear in mind that patients usually vent their anger on their loved ones out of helplessness. They do not actually mean the hurtful things they say.
Just because your charge is sick does not mean that he is not entitled to enjoying life. Spend time with him doing something relaxing that you both enjoy, such as reading, listening to music or watching TV. It keeps both your spirits up.
Maintain an active social life. By this, I do not mean going for shopping trips, clubbing, overseas trips and other high-energy and time-consuming social activities. Confidantes will be very important when you need to let off some steam. Don’t shy away from your friends. Like some housewives, caregivers shut themselves away from the world so that they can concentrate on their charges. This is not a wise thing to do. Let your friends know what is going on in your life, that you are not avoiding them on purpose. Call them up for a chat, invite them out for a meal if possible.
Learn to let go. You may have to give up your favourite activities and a lifestyle you enjoyed due to your role as a caregiver. Let it go, and let it go peacefully. Dwelling on how much you missed will not make it any easier on you. Consider instead, the difference you're making to a loved one's life and be glad that you have the chance and ability to care for him and prolong his life while others look on in vain as their loved ones fade before them. Be proud of your achievement. This mindset is more energizing and positive than any other activity you may be deprived of.
