Is a healthy and evergreen marriage a pipedream these days?
Friday, July 15, 2016 - Posted by SunnyHealth - 0 comments

Early this week, the Department of Statistics (Singstat) revealed data to indicate that there have been more divorces and fewer marriages in Singapore last year. While characteristic of educated, developed populations in an era whereby divorcing and single parenthood have become more socially and legally acceptable, this undoubtedly poses greater challenges to our struggles to increase our replacement rate. 

Certainly, getting a divorce may be better for the emotional health of all parties if the marriage is unsalvageable. This is especially so if children are involved; the stress on keeping up the façade will not only cause plenty of tension but also give the children the wrong ideas about the norms of a healthy relationship.

Nevertheless, rather than going with the flow and accepting that divorce is a common phenomenon these days, we have to question if people are getting hitched for the wrong reasons, if they’re treating marriage to casually, and if they are putting in sufficient effort to keep a marriage going.

Much as we would like to believe that love is a substantial reason for marriage, it is not sufficient for a successful marriage and family in the long-term. Worst yet, I’ve encountered many people who rush into engagements with people they have not even been dating for a long time just because they want to own a BTO flat.

There is a saying that goes "Marriage is like a gamble". But life is short and why would you want to gamble away what is possibly the ripest time of your life on the wrong person? Certainly, there is no absolute guarantee for any relationship, and people do change. However, one can gauge the future of their marriage from the quality of their relationship before marriage.

Indicators of a successful, healthy relationship include:

Good communication.
Both parties are willing to listen to each other and discuss differences.

Realistic expectations from the relationship.
Someone who dreams of having a family complete with children would not be a good fit for someone who's really looking for a life-long travel partner to tour the world. Meanwhile, someone who enjoys taking risks and chasing dreams may feel restricted by a partner who craves stability and financial security. It is important to get to know one another's expectations before committing to each other.
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The couple enjoy each other’s personality traits.
You don’t have to love every single thing about your significant other, but if the fact that your partner’s ability to leave mountains of mess around the house or poor financial management skills are grating to you, something needs to be done. One major peeve is enough to ruin a marriage if it is an issue that leads to constant arguments and dissatisfaction. Talk about it, and see whether being more accommodating, or making changes, or both, are in order. Never assume “Oh he/she loves me and I’ll be able to make him/her change”.

Ability to resolve conflicts effectively
Not only between each other, but also when conflicts arise concerning families of both sides.

Agree on religious and ethical values.
Differences in religious and ethical values have always been major sources of disagreement. If you can’t share similar views, or at least agree to disagree, they could become fuel in quarrels. Also bear in mind that these are issues that will be unavoidable in the child-rearing process and will give rise to conflict if both parents can’t agree on what values to impart to their children. 

Believe in egalitarianism in the relationship.
This means that both parties do not define roles in the relationship by gender. Neither partner is superior or has higher priority over the other, and their contributions would be viewed as having equal value to the benefit of the household or relationship. Dissatisfaction over the perceived amount of contribution from each party is a common source of unhappiness.

Have a good balance of joint and individual interests and activities.
We all need some personal time for ourselves. Spending all available time together means more opportunities for conflict. Moreover, both should have the freedom to pursue their own interests on an individual basis. Forcing someone to keep you company doing things he/she doesn’t enjoy is a sure-fire way of creating unhappiness.

That said, if you’re already in a marriage that is missing some of the above, don’t fret. All marriages require effort to maintain, some more than others. But as long as you and your partner treasure each other and do what you can to keep the marriage going, it will keep going. The most common mistake people make is taking their partners for granted. Think of marriage like a career that both you and your significant other share. There are hurdles to overcome, but the sense of satisfaction gained from achieving milestones is immense.

Indeed, a healthy, happy marriage goes a long way in enriching one’s life and emotional well-being. Moreover, it also serves as a form of insurance in old age when companionship becomes more important then ever. It is a great reassurance to know that there will be someone with you to walk till the journey’s end.


Holding your newborn in the buff is a health booster for all
Thursday, July 07, 2016 - Posted by SunnyHealth - 0 comments



We’re all too accustomed to seeing babies wrapped in the arms of their loving mothers (while dad watches with a blissful expression on his face), so when a photo of a father and his son holding the new babies (twins!) in the family circulates around the internet, everyone understandably goes ‘awwww’. In fact, while mothers are often given a lot of credit where child rearing goes, the presence of fathers in their children’s lives is crucial for the child’s wholesome development.

Fathers too need to hold their babies, and preferably against his naked chest. If the father frequently talks to the baby or mother, the baby can recognise their fathers’ voice. Being in skin-to-skin contact with their father calms the baby down and helps father and child bond.

Popularly termed as Kangaroo care, after the way baby kangaroos share skin contact with their mother until the day they mature, skin-to-skin contact between the parent and newborn is a popular way to help premature babies adapt, and it requires the parents to hold the baby for as long as possible throughout the day, with no clothing as a barrier. Not only will this promote bonding, but it also has a variety of health benefits.

In premature babies, the parent’s body warmth is more effective in regulating the baby’s body than an incubator. It also promotes better breathing and quicker weight gain. Coming into contact with the parents’ bacteria, instead of the other bacteria in the incubating room, also reduces the risk of serious infection.

A Canadian study also revealed that premature babies who underwent Kangaroo care as a treatment had better brain functioning at 15 years old, compared to those who had been placed in incubators. This was due to the baby having a more stabilized heart rate, better oxygenation and improved sleep.

For breastfeeding mothers, the mutual benefits are even more pronounced. Newborns have a heightened sense of smell. When the baby is placed skin-to-skin with Mummy, he or she will have an easier time seeking out the nipple to initiate the breastfeeding process. Milk production is also stimulated to produce more milk when the mother and baby are in contact. While one would obviously not be able go topless in public to breastfeed, perhaps it feels so much more comfortable for both mum and baby to do so at home, not to mention, safer (baby will not be suffocated by the clothes or attempt to damage it), that a study published in Neonatal Network revealed that mothers who practiced kangaroo care were more likely to breastfeed for a longer time, and exclusively instead of resorting to formula milk.

According to The American Journal of Maternal/Child Nursing, skin-to-skin contact could also minimise the risk of depression and maternal anxiety, which in turn reduces the probability of getting post-natal blues.

In administering kangaroo care, more is better. The first two hours after birth is the most crucial as the baby has just arrived and your comfort and cuddles can be a great help to ease him/her into the new environment. Frequent kangaroo care should be given in the first twenty weeks or so. The more the better, but of course, do it only when both baby and parents enjoy it. If the baby starts showing signs of restlessness and wants to get off your chest, then it is obviously a signal for you to stop.



Watch where that lemon goes in your mouth!
Friday, July 01, 2016 - Posted by SunnyHealth - 0 comments


Adding a slice of lemon or lime can greatly improve the taste of plain ol’ water, but the benefits far supersede that. Lemon is a very healthy fruit that provides a wide variety of nutrients (including Vitamin C, citric acid, potassium, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, and pectin, and it is also rich in antioxidants). It is known for several health benefits including aiding digestion, boosting immune system, reducing inflammation, freshening breath and much more. Some beauty gurus swear by daily cups of lemon water, which they believe will make their skin clear and bright.

But there are always two sides to the coin. Lemon and lime have many benefits, but being acidic in nature, they are corrosive to your teeth enamel. Your teeth will become more sensitive and crone to cavities, and may eventually appear hollowed. Some complex dental works will be required to restore some functions to your teeth.

When your enamel erodes, your teeth become sensitive and more prone to cavities. They also become yellower and may eventually appear hollowed. If that happens, you’ll need some serious and expensive dentistry.

In all fairness, lemon/lime juice are not the only corrosive drinks. Ice lemon tea, cider, orange juice, even coke, all have acidic PH values. http://www.21stcenturydental.com/ph_drinks.html is a comprehensive listing of drinks and their PH values. Anything below the PH of 5.5 has the potential to cause tooth enamel corrosion. Lemon and lime juice are between PH values 2 and 3.

That doesn’t mean you should stop drinking lemon/lime. There are some simple methods to inhibit or neutralise the acidic effects of these fruits.

1)      Use a drinking straw. The liquid travels to the back of your throat, thus sparing your teeth.

2)      Rinse your mouth with water right after drinking and eating anything. Water is of neutral pH and can help neutralise the acidity in your mouth. If you’re not using a drinking straw, do not graze over your juice (or acidic fruits like apples). Finish it up as soon as possible and rinse your mouth so you can get the acid out.
3) Consume dairy products, or regular plain water right after consuming your juice. Both are alkaline and help bring up the pH levels.

4) Do not brush your teeth for at least one hour after consuming acidic food and beverage. Your tooth paste can thin the softened enamel. If you can’t wait for an hour, instead of brushing your teeth, you can floss it and rinse with water.

So yes, it is possible to have your lemon and drink it too!