I am one of those fortunate chaps who grew up in a family where there were many aunts (my mum's sisters) and we all lived together under one roof. Over the years, inevitably age catches up with them and some 10 years ago one of them passed on. Now one of my other aunts is fighting for her live, after being diagnosed with nose cancer about a year ago. It was first thought to be sinus, when she was bleeding from her nose. But as it turned out the diagnosis was worsed off and she had to undergo bouts of chemotheraphy. Because she has a sturdy built, she could withstand the toll from the cocktail of medication. However, her immune system was weakened and she, at one stage, had a bad pneumonia and lung infection. Off she went to the intensive care ward, complete with face mask, oxygen tanks and all as the doctors kept her going. At one stage, she slipped into unconsciousness and her family members were told to get to her bedside. Alas, her determination to live brought her back to her feet. She was discharged and returned home to recuperate.
A year has passed since that harrowing moment. Now the cancer has relapsed. Not only that, in true tradition of the disease, the cells spread to her liver. The diagnosis, after a scan last week, was that 40 per cent of the liver is affected. She underwent another bout of chemo, more medication, and she is again sort of "living on the edge". The cancer is not only inflicting a heavy toll on her, but also her daughter who is looking after her. I believe her two sons would also be emotionally affected but perhaps not as much as her daughter who has been ferrying her to and from the doctors because she was living with her.
While often the focus is on the patients, and rightly so I must say, we should also not overlook the needs of the other family members. Here's where emotional support and encouragement from family, friends and colleagues are important. The journey for cancer patients, as I have seen through my encounter with my own parents, is a roller-coaster ride. Just as we have to give encouragement and assurances to the patient, we need to prepare the family members for the inevitable. We need to talk about after-life and the taking away of all the pain and suffering that the patient has to endure. In the meanwhile we have to talk about what the family members will have to do, to keep the flame burning and carry the torch for the next generation.
It's sad to have to be prepared to take a loss but someday, if there's one thing that is sure, we all know that all of us will just have to go. The National Cancer Centre Singapore has team of psychosocial counselors, professionally trained, and they are the ones who handle the difficult moments with the family members and the patients in their last walk together. I just hope and pray my Aunt can make it to the New Year.
A year has passed since that harrowing moment. Now the cancer has relapsed. Not only that, in true tradition of the disease, the cells spread to her liver. The diagnosis, after a scan last week, was that 40 per cent of the liver is affected. She underwent another bout of chemo, more medication, and she is again sort of "living on the edge". The cancer is not only inflicting a heavy toll on her, but also her daughter who is looking after her. I believe her two sons would also be emotionally affected but perhaps not as much as her daughter who has been ferrying her to and from the doctors because she was living with her.
While often the focus is on the patients, and rightly so I must say, we should also not overlook the needs of the other family members. Here's where emotional support and encouragement from family, friends and colleagues are important. The journey for cancer patients, as I have seen through my encounter with my own parents, is a roller-coaster ride. Just as we have to give encouragement and assurances to the patient, we need to prepare the family members for the inevitable. We need to talk about after-life and the taking away of all the pain and suffering that the patient has to endure. In the meanwhile we have to talk about what the family members will have to do, to keep the flame burning and carry the torch for the next generation.
It's sad to have to be prepared to take a loss but someday, if there's one thing that is sure, we all know that all of us will just have to go. The National Cancer Centre Singapore has team of psychosocial counselors, professionally trained, and they are the ones who handle the difficult moments with the family members and the patients in their last walk together. I just hope and pray my Aunt can make it to the New Year.
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