Sunny Health

Saying things you don’t mean to, pulling up misconstrued facts and jumbling up words, agreeing to a challenge you’d never have agreed to in your right state of mind… why do we often seem to act out of character when angry?

When our body is under stressful situations, hormones are released to facilitate flight or fight. That would explain, why, when we’re confronted of danger, we would either run faster than we ever thought we were capable of doing so, or fight back with such strong punches without feeling the pain until later.

Our brain, too, goes into fight or flight mode when verbally confronted, but more often than not, it tends to work against us. Here are some of the effects arguments have on our brains:

Short-term memory loss
Increasing levels of the stress hormone cortisol causes this. That’s why you may sometimes find yourself tongue-tied, at a loss of words, or you may try to give an adage to support your argument but realise that you don’t really know how it goes. It is temporary and tends to affect less important memories, so don’t be surprised if the wife still brings up the issue of how you forgot her birthday ten years ago with great clarity.

Impaired judgment
When your brain is over-stressed, you lose the ability to manage complex situations. Never make a decision in a fit of anger or when you’re overwhelmed with emotions, as it may be a bad decision.

More ideas leading to innovation
During an argument, the outside layer of nerves is strengthened, facilitating the transmission of nerve impulses, thereby improving your thinking. Have you ever found yourself feel more wide awake and focused during an argument? This would be the reason for it. And the more you think, the more ideas you get. This could be the reason why some meetings tend to be explosive. It is certainly more productive than slouching in your chair and waiting for your turn to be over! Nevertheless, arguments are good for brainstorming, but refrain from making decisions as this could then lead to impaired judgment.

Increased heart rate and blood pressure
When you’re really angry, you may feel your heart beat real fast due to the release of adrenaline. This is when you really need to take a step back and calm down. People who have heart disease may succumb to heart attack under great pressure.

Heart disease is a result of pressure accumulated over time, so while one argument usually does not cause a healthy person to collapse, serious arguments accumulated over a period of time will burden the cardiovascular system. Hence it is much better for your health to take things easy.

Further more, words that come out of the mouth can never be taken back, no matter how much you don’t mean it. So if you can’t argue in a calm and collected manner, rather than adding fuel to the fire, take your leave by saying something to the effect of, “I feel too upset to talk, and I want to take a timeout. Let's meet back here in an hour when we're both feeling calmer.”

Walking away an argument when things heat up gives you a chance to analyse issues in a more rational state of mind. It should not be an opportunity for you to avoid problems. It is still important to eventually resolve the tension and come to a viable agreement between both parties.